Poor Farmer and Rich Gardener

As such there are no big differences between a farmer and gardener, both grow plants, but there can be some. I am concerned about a very important difference which is there sometimes and that is the difference of purpose. A farmer sows the seeds and waters it. When plant comes out of the soil he is overjoyed. He nurtures it throughout with all the things needed for the growth of the plant. His joy reaches its culmination when he sees the plant is grown up and filled with fruits. He takes the fruits and sells them in the market and that is how he lives on. A gardener also goes through the same process. He also enjoys immensely this growth of a seed into a plant. But he is not at all bothered about selling the fruits. He just enjoys the beauty of the plant and its fruits, he enjoys the taste of fruit but not concerned about making money from it. You may be thinking why am I telling you this well known, boring stuff. Here I come. For many many years I had a question in my mind. Why we bring children to this big bad world ?
There are well known answers to this question. First one is religious that "It is God's will". Once upon a time this answer was OK but after the invention of condoms and other family planning stuff this has become absolutely ridicules. Even earlier (and today also) it is more of human will rather than God's will. If it is God's will then I think Chinese communist government is more powerful than God because they have successfully enforced one child policy over a billion people. Second is "children continue your name in future". This is a casteist and racist answer, so not good for todays time. Third is "children support us in our old age". Now this is most problematic I think because with the spread of education and information many people have figured out what I said for the first two answers but not this. To refute this answer only I gave the example of farmer and gardener. Now I think you may have figured out what I am trying to say. The problem with this answer is that it is very selfish. If you need something desperately and you be selfish then it is OK but if you have everything and still be selfish then it is not OK.
Like a poor farmer and a rich gardener there are two ways to raise our children one is to use them for our support as much as we can and the other is to support them as much as we can and enjoy in their glory. When a poor man wants his kids to help him in his daily hard work it is understandable but when a well to do businessman forces his school going kids to take care of his business , it is poor farming mentality. When a middle class government employee puts pressure on his kids to become IAS, or Engineer or Doctor or Tendulkar , it is again poor farming mentality. Now why I call this farming mentality 'poor', because it kills the freedom of children thereby killing their creativity, their confidence, their growth and their chance of achieving great heights. For their selfish gain or their convenience parents apply many restrictions on their kids, but the saddest part is that they genuinely believe that they are doing it for the betterment of the kids. They believe so because they have gone through the same treatment and they have been taught same throughout their life.
We are a country of more than a billion people with 60 years of independence and how many world class business products we have created, how many Nobel winner scientists we have, how many Oscar winner movies we have, how many world class artists, musician, actors, sportsmen, writers, philosophers we have since independence ? The answer to all these questions is either zero or tends to zero. I know some will say that we have so many good cricketers. To all of them I want to say that we are world champions in Kabbaddi also and if whole world starts playing Kabbaddi then rest assured that we will be in the bottom 5. Many people argue that we are a poor country, they are giving this argument for ages. I don't buy this argument because there are and there have always been since independence a significant number of rich people in this country. Why these people are as third class as a common man ? The reason is the poor farming mentality. The rich gardeners are rarest of rare. That is why we have only one Abhinav Bindra because Dr. A. S. Bindra did not forced his son to expand his business empire. Rather, when his son faced the problem of poor infrastructure for Shooting practice he used his wealth to provide him a private shooting yard. He even assured him that if you are not successful then my business is always there for you.
Greatness is not born it needs harnessing, nurturing and freedom. To become great a child needs all of them and not the imposition of the will of parents. I became father ten months ago and my wife and I have decided to be a rich gardener as much as we can. Skeptics will ask me "Is your son going to be the next Bindra or someone like that ?". There is no guarantee, he may or may not. But, if I use the farmer approach then it is guaranteed that he will not become a world class achiever. At best he will end up like me a cringing software professional, writing blogs. Taking care of parents is responsibility and not duty of an individual. If someone fulfills his responsibility then parents should feel proud about it and if he does not take this responsibility then they should feel "Oh, Its normal". On the other hand taking care of children is duty of parents because they bring the children into this big, bad world. Parents do not fulfill their duty properly, they do not support and empower enough their children and then they expect their kids to be responsible for them. Now comes the most interesting part. When kids behave badly with parents or do not take their responsibility, then who is blamed by parents ? Hold your breath, they blame "America", westernization of our society, modern age and technology. What a logic. The whole society, media and intellectuals stand behind the parents in this logic. Poor America. God save us and our children from these pathetic logics and these pathetic intellectuals and God bless America.