At the root of a character or personality lies the beliefs. When we look around in our society we find corruption, hypocrisy, inefficiency, lack of respect to another human being and above all the suppression of women and children. So there must be something wrong with the people of society and hence there must be something wrong with their beliefs. I am trying to enlist some of them. I am sure you can add more here.
1. Sharm aurat ka gahana hai.(Shyness is jewel of woman)
Shyness is low self confidence, shyness is hypocrisy, and ultimately a negative feeling because you can't say what you want. Elders of society fool the young girls when they say that shyness is a jewel. They say it because they don't want young girls talking back at them, they don't want them wearing provocative clothes (e.g. Skirts). They want the girls to remain in a cocoon, so that they can impose their will on them, can commit any cruelty to them(can even kill) without having to face retaliation. So girls please throw this jewel in the gutter and be outspoken.
2. Pati parmeshwar hota hai, etc (Husband is like God, Parents are like God, Children are like God)
I am assuming that God is incorruptible. But neither husbands nor parents are incorruptible. Even children are corruptible. Come on, don't go so far this just means that we should respect elders, or husband or children. I do not have much objection to the children being treated like God but we should never forget their individuality. I have no problem if this means just respect, But that is not the case, these words are taken literally and thats where the problem starts . As religious preachers say if you believe in God then surrender to him, similarly husbands expect slavery from wife and parents expect obedience form their children. A husband wants dowry, household work and sexual favours when he desires(not when she desires) from his wife and then he wants n-number of children from her without taking care of her or children(If she dies in the process he will get another woman). Wife should also be ready for beatings from time to time. All this is not possible if women raises her voice or if she do not surrender to her husband like God. When the NRI heroine of a Yash Chopra movie says that "We have not forgotten our values even after living in foreign land", she means exactly the items mentioned here. Particularly the item 1, 2 and 3.
Parents are different God than husband. They think that they are the destiny writers of their children. And when they are scripting the destiny, they don't tolerate any objection, refusal or incompetence. They will choose the career path(or no career if girl child) or spouse for their baby. This is also possible only if child is suppressed throughout his/her life and forced to respect parents unquestionably.
3. Teen cheezon ko dhak kar rakhna chahiye dhan, bhojan, aurat(Three things should be covered money, food, and women)
This is a very shrewd statement. See how cunningly they have mixed women with food and money. They have itemized the woman and thereby dehumanized her. Young people are most vulnerable to such cunning logic. They think yes food and money must be kept safe and like that women also must be confined. I myself believed in such absurd logics for most of my life. Yes money should be covered or hidden if it is black, otherwise it is anyway open to public scrutiny. The best food is cooked and consumed immediately and not the tinned or packaged junk food. For covering the women there are two variants available in India. One is Ghoonghat and other is Burqa and I don't need to explain here that both are enforced by society wherever they are present. Our president Pratibha Patil told a gathering of women in Rajasthan to throw away their ghoonghat but she shied away from saying the same thing about burqa. Don't worry we got French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Ghoonghat and burqa both are symbols of women oppression and must be done away with. Today burqa is banned in two countries Belgium and France. World is awakening, but we don't seem to be. Our intellectuals (who are mostly leftists) want us to believe that this is a matter of choice. But then, an upside down logic coming from leftists is quite expected.
Covering of women goes beyond this, it also confines her as I mentioned above in item 1. With so much importance attached to covering a woman, uncovering becomes a huge insult. If a woman uncovers herself (wear small clothes) and goes out she is termed characterless. John Abraham and Salman Khan are not termed characterless when they go out just in trunks. When our male wrestlers can fight with each other wearing only a 'langot' (nappy) then why can't our women play beach volleyball in bikinis ? (I can only imagine what a beautiful scene it would be). Why so much fuss about it ? Now, What happens if a woman completely uncovers herself ? Oh, my God ! The whole family will not be able to show its face in the society. But, how come the honour of family is directly proportional to the amount of covering of its women ? When Kate Winslet appears in Titanic, wearing only a necklace, her reputation worldwide or her family's reputation remains unchanged or grows big. We too appreciated her then why can't we accept and appreciate our mothers, sisters or daughters similarly ? I have been able to understand Nonlinear differential equations in Mathematics but I have not been able to understand this. I salute all the Mallika Sherawats and Pooja Bedis for their courage and conviction.
4. Agar tumko khona ho apna londa, to dila do usko hero honda, agar barbad karna ho apna parivar, to le aao maruti car(If you want to loose your son then get him a bike, if you want to destroy your family then bring a car)
The meaning of this dialog may not be immediately clear but this wants to say that prosperity is sin. You can hear this in many variations like "Paisa haath ka mail hai"(money is just dirtiness of the hand) or Kadar Khan says "Paise se gadda khareed sakte ho, neend nahin". (With money you can buy mattress but not sleep). Ultimately they all want you to believe that prosperity is sin. Since the time of Independence and till date the mentality of Indian leaders and people had been affected by the communism. Communism tries to tell you that a person becomes rich only by snatching money from many people. But this is true only for the set of people like criminals and communists themselves. What about industrialism, what about generating wealth by hard work, creativity and innovation ? What about me ? I am making relatively good money, I own a car but my whole salary comes form USA because I am a billed software professional. I have not even snatched the job of a US citizen because there is dearth of qualified professionals in USA. If prosperity is sin then many many people like me who aim for prosperity in life (including Shah Rukh Khan) will loose interest in life. Prosperity is such a big motivation and we need motivated people rather than dejected. I also believed in this communist mentality but one fine day (around 2003 in IISc, Bangalore) I attended a lecture from Dr. K. Anji Reddy, Founder of Dr. Reddys Lab, and he told that money making is not vulgar. That day he broke my belief and today I want to break yours and I want to say to each and every young mind out there that there is no need to feel any guilt about your hard earned money.
5. Jeevan hai agar jahar to peena hi padega(Life is suffering)
This is a religious belief. We are told that the purpose of life is to attain 'Moksha' or a place in heaven, we have to go through the sufferings of life to achieve good after life, reason of sufferings is lust and desire etc. etc. Till date, no trace of after life has been found. With a negative feeling like this, life can really become a suffering. The main problem with this belief is that it kills hope in the life. Lust and desire can not be banned completely. Lust can also lead you to Love. Everyone in life goes through struggles that does not mean that life is pain only.
6. Insaan bura hota hai uska Dharam nahin (Human being is vicious rather than his religion)
With the history of partition based on religion, with the history of so many communal riots and killings in the name of religion, how can we say that there is nothing wrong with the religion ? An ideology can be far more vicious than a man can possibly be. Look at Nazism, Maoism, Talibanism , all have have one thing common 'Ideology of hate'. It is this ideology of hate that is responsible for millions of killings. So, there must be something wrong with the ideology of religions. We must question our religions rather than the viciousness of a human being.
When a society is built upon wrong beliefs it creates confusion in the minds of its people. Because what they believe is different from what they observe or what they practically go through in life. They can even doubt the correct values like speaking truth, honesty, compassion, respect for life and other human beings, positive thinking etc. With this confused mindset they go on to become corrupt personalities. A man like this has no respect for other lesser mortals, he beats women, beats children and then he justifies all his actions. If we see deeply this is not actually his fault, we as a society are reaping what we are sowing. We must break the wrong beliefs and emphasize the correct ones.
So, girls and boys next time when you hear any such beliefs from any source, be it elders of society or NRI heroine of Yash Chopra film, then despise it, ridicule it, spit on it and then trash it but never get emotionally fooled by it.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Poor Farmer and Rich Gardener
As such there are no big differences between a farmer and gardener, both grow plants, but there can be some. I am concerned about a very important difference which is there sometimes and that is the difference of purpose. A farmer sows the seeds and waters it. When plant comes out of the soil he is overjoyed. He nurtures it throughout with all the things needed for the growth of the plant. His joy reaches its culmination when he sees the plant is grown up and filled with fruits. He takes the fruits and sells them in the market and that is how he lives on. A gardener also goes through the same process. He also enjoys immensely this growth of a seed into a plant. But he is not at all bothered about selling the fruits. He just enjoys the beauty of the plant and its fruits, he enjoys the taste of fruit but not concerned about making money from it. You may be thinking why am I telling you this well known, boring stuff. Here I come. For many many years I had a question in my mind. Why we bring children to this big bad world ?
There are well known answers to this question. First one is religious that "It is God's will". Once upon a time this answer was OK but after the invention of condoms and other family planning stuff this has become absolutely ridicules. Even earlier (and today also) it is more of human will rather than God's will. If it is God's will then I think Chinese communist government is more powerful than God because they have successfully enforced one child policy over a billion people. Second is "children continue your name in future". This is a casteist and racist answer, so not good for todays time. Third is "children support us in our old age". Now this is most problematic I think because with the spread of education and information many people have figured out what I said for the first two answers but not this. To refute this answer only I gave the example of farmer and gardener. Now I think you may have figured out what I am trying to say. The problem with this answer is that it is very selfish. If you need something desperately and you be selfish then it is OK but if you have everything and still be selfish then it is not OK.
Like a poor farmer and a rich gardener there are two ways to raise our children one is to use them for our support as much as we can and the other is to support them as much as we can and enjoy in their glory. When a poor man wants his kids to help him in his daily hard work it is understandable but when a well to do businessman forces his school going kids to take care of his business , it is poor farming mentality. When a middle class government employee puts pressure on his kids to become IAS, or Engineer or Doctor or Tendulkar , it is again poor farming mentality. Now why I call this farming mentality 'poor', because it kills the freedom of children thereby killing their creativity, their confidence, their growth and their chance of achieving great heights. For their selfish gain or their convenience parents apply many restrictions on their kids, but the saddest part is that they genuinely believe that they are doing it for the betterment of the kids. They believe so because they have gone through the same treatment and they have been taught same throughout their life.
We are a country of more than a billion people with 60 years of independence and how many world class business products we have created, how many Nobel winner scientists we have, how many Oscar winner movies we have, how many world class artists, musician, actors, sportsmen, writers, philosophers we have since independence ? The answer to all these questions is either zero or tends to zero. I know some will say that we have so many good cricketers. To all of them I want to say that we are world champions in Kabbaddi also and if whole world starts playing Kabbaddi then rest assured that we will be in the bottom 5. Many people argue that we are a poor country, they are giving this argument for ages. I don't buy this argument because there are and there have always been since independence a significant number of rich people in this country. Why these people are as third class as a common man ? The reason is the poor farming mentality. The rich gardeners are rarest of rare. That is why we have only one Abhinav Bindra because Dr. A. S. Bindra did not forced his son to expand his business empire. Rather, when his son faced the problem of poor infrastructure for Shooting practice he used his wealth to provide him a private shooting yard. He even assured him that if you are not successful then my business is always there for you.
Greatness is not born it needs harnessing, nurturing and freedom. To become great a child needs all of them and not the imposition of the will of parents. I became father ten months ago and my wife and I have decided to be a rich gardener as much as we can. Skeptics will ask me "Is your son going to be the next Bindra or someone like that ?". There is no guarantee, he may or may not. But, if I use the farmer approach then it is guaranteed that he will not become a world class achiever. At best he will end up like me a cringing software professional, writing blogs. Taking care of parents is responsibility and not duty of an individual. If someone fulfills his responsibility then parents should feel proud about it and if he does not take this responsibility then they should feel "Oh, Its normal". On the other hand taking care of children is duty of parents because they bring the children into this big, bad world. Parents do not fulfill their duty properly, they do not support and empower enough their children and then they expect their kids to be responsible for them. Now comes the most interesting part. When kids behave badly with parents or do not take their responsibility, then who is blamed by parents ? Hold your breath, they blame "America", westernization of our society, modern age and technology. What a logic. The whole society, media and intellectuals stand behind the parents in this logic. Poor America. God save us and our children from these pathetic logics and these pathetic intellectuals and God bless America.
There are well known answers to this question. First one is religious that "It is God's will". Once upon a time this answer was OK but after the invention of condoms and other family planning stuff this has become absolutely ridicules. Even earlier (and today also) it is more of human will rather than God's will. If it is God's will then I think Chinese communist government is more powerful than God because they have successfully enforced one child policy over a billion people. Second is "children continue your name in future". This is a casteist and racist answer, so not good for todays time. Third is "children support us in our old age". Now this is most problematic I think because with the spread of education and information many people have figured out what I said for the first two answers but not this. To refute this answer only I gave the example of farmer and gardener. Now I think you may have figured out what I am trying to say. The problem with this answer is that it is very selfish. If you need something desperately and you be selfish then it is OK but if you have everything and still be selfish then it is not OK.
Like a poor farmer and a rich gardener there are two ways to raise our children one is to use them for our support as much as we can and the other is to support them as much as we can and enjoy in their glory. When a poor man wants his kids to help him in his daily hard work it is understandable but when a well to do businessman forces his school going kids to take care of his business , it is poor farming mentality. When a middle class government employee puts pressure on his kids to become IAS, or Engineer or Doctor or Tendulkar , it is again poor farming mentality. Now why I call this farming mentality 'poor', because it kills the freedom of children thereby killing their creativity, their confidence, their growth and their chance of achieving great heights. For their selfish gain or their convenience parents apply many restrictions on their kids, but the saddest part is that they genuinely believe that they are doing it for the betterment of the kids. They believe so because they have gone through the same treatment and they have been taught same throughout their life.
We are a country of more than a billion people with 60 years of independence and how many world class business products we have created, how many Nobel winner scientists we have, how many Oscar winner movies we have, how many world class artists, musician, actors, sportsmen, writers, philosophers we have since independence ? The answer to all these questions is either zero or tends to zero. I know some will say that we have so many good cricketers. To all of them I want to say that we are world champions in Kabbaddi also and if whole world starts playing Kabbaddi then rest assured that we will be in the bottom 5. Many people argue that we are a poor country, they are giving this argument for ages. I don't buy this argument because there are and there have always been since independence a significant number of rich people in this country. Why these people are as third class as a common man ? The reason is the poor farming mentality. The rich gardeners are rarest of rare. That is why we have only one Abhinav Bindra because Dr. A. S. Bindra did not forced his son to expand his business empire. Rather, when his son faced the problem of poor infrastructure for Shooting practice he used his wealth to provide him a private shooting yard. He even assured him that if you are not successful then my business is always there for you.
Greatness is not born it needs harnessing, nurturing and freedom. To become great a child needs all of them and not the imposition of the will of parents. I became father ten months ago and my wife and I have decided to be a rich gardener as much as we can. Skeptics will ask me "Is your son going to be the next Bindra or someone like that ?". There is no guarantee, he may or may not. But, if I use the farmer approach then it is guaranteed that he will not become a world class achiever. At best he will end up like me a cringing software professional, writing blogs. Taking care of parents is responsibility and not duty of an individual. If someone fulfills his responsibility then parents should feel proud about it and if he does not take this responsibility then they should feel "Oh, Its normal". On the other hand taking care of children is duty of parents because they bring the children into this big, bad world. Parents do not fulfill their duty properly, they do not support and empower enough their children and then they expect their kids to be responsible for them. Now comes the most interesting part. When kids behave badly with parents or do not take their responsibility, then who is blamed by parents ? Hold your breath, they blame "America", westernization of our society, modern age and technology. What a logic. The whole society, media and intellectuals stand behind the parents in this logic. Poor America. God save us and our children from these pathetic logics and these pathetic intellectuals and God bless America.
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