Arranged marriage is highly flawed institution - 2

Recently I read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray. This book is a must read for every man and woman, who are or planning to be, in a relationship. This book highlights how poor our understanding is of opposite sex. Now this book is written by an American and as we know America is a very open society as compared to us when it comes to communication between men and women. Still American people have less understanding of opposite sex, you can imagine in what great abyss we Indian people are.
So , continuing from my last article, how arrange marriage promotes lack of interaction. We all want to interact with opposite sex but still we follow the restrictions of our society and elders. Why we do not revolt against this ? Its simple, because arrange marriage is easy way out. If we have to look for a good girl for ourselves it is hard work. Where you can't even interact with a women it is almost impossible. So we take the lollipop(arrange marriage) from our elders, simple. You may be the most unattractive man with most deriding opinion about women , still you can get the brightest and the prettiest woman for you if you are powerful, or have money or good job, by arrange marriage. For the women it is like sleeping with the enemy. Arranged marriage is highly tilted towards men, power and money(dowry). It is highly undemocratic because it kills our freedom to choose.
Arranged marriage is tool in the hands of our society to control younger people. Yes younger people should be controlled but by moral principles, and not at the cost of freedom. Parents want arranged marriage so that they have better control of the lives of their kids. But this controlling comes at the cost of happiness. Neither husband wife are happy with each other nor their parents are happy with them. It is not that parents want to do this for the welfare of their kids. If that is the case why they disown or even ready to kill their own kids when kids marry by their own choice. Sometimes people say I am doing arrange marriage by my own choice, but saying this is illogical. It is something like a women wearing Burqa saying that it is my choice, or Sachin Tendualkar saying that I wear helmet by my choice to face fast bowlers. Sunil Gavaskar made his choice and wore a cap and faced the most lethal pace attack of West-Indies bowlers. A choice means you have other options also.
There are other social issues promoted and protected by arranged marriage like dowry, castism, racism, regionalism, women discrimination, child abuse etc. We can not outrightly reject this institution because at present for most of the people this is the only way to get married. The first step towards removing this very bad institution is to stop men, women segregation. There should be no non co-education school. Men and women should be segregated only at places of extreme difficulties like local bus or Mumbai local train, otherwise not. I don't see these things happenning in near future. I finish this article by just saying one thing that I am sure, I'll not impose my rule over my child or any other child.

Arranged marriage is highly flawed institution - 1

In our society interaction of young men and women is restricted. If I look back at my life, my interactions with women are very few and far apart and none of them were of the level where you develop an understanding with other person. I have always been to a non co-Education school. Then I did engineering that too in mechanical. Very few women go for engineering and none of them opts for mechanical. After that now I am working in IT industry but in mechanical domain where women to men ratio is normally 1:25 or worse. Sometimes I think am I living in a Islamic society like Iran, Iraq or Afghanistan, where women are separated from men. Frankly speaking our Indian society is a miniature version of Talibani society. We can see the manifestation of this in our movies. In Hindi movies a villain or sometime hero treats a woman badly and in South Indian movies all heroes treat women very badly. You will say , come on! you can talk to any woman in India. Yes I know that but there are practical problems because of our social structure, some of them I have mentioned above.
The worst consequence of all this is that, we treat women badly and we are never aware of that. Like we have seen the video of a Taliban man whipping a woman on her buttocks. That man treated the woman so badly but in his mind he was doing right thing. Its all about level of awareness. We condemn that act but we also do many wrong things to woman and think that we are doing right. Our level of awareness is not adequate and that is because of lack of interaction with women. Of course people who go to co-ed and have better environment where men women ratio is good , behave better with women. I have had interactions with such guys from the time of my engineering. Their understanding of women was far better than me. I was an absolute dumb when it came to women. My idea of dealing with woman was following the filmy heroes. Today i know that how bad this idea is to follow Indian filmy hero. It is like "Apne pair main Kulhadi marna". Today I am married for 3 years and with my understanding I can say that the better guys at the time of my engineering were also very poor when it come to women. The point I want to make here is that even if someone comes form a co-ed his understanding of women remains at a very low level because there are no(or very few) deep interactions among boys and girls. The reason for that is we are not allowed. If you are seen with a girl too much then questions will be raised. I think we are all aware of such practical problems. After 3 years of marriage and interactions with my wife I think I am much improved person to deal with a woman. I Imagine, how good I would have become if I would have interacted deeply with say 10 women. I am sure I would have been a much much better person. This not only makes you better to deal with women it makes you overall a better person. But now the tragedy is that half of the life is over and that too the better one. We have lost the joyous part of our life unaware. We can never get back the energy and enthusiasm of a 20 year old.
So finally I come to the main point of this article. In the societies like ours to interact deeply with a woman you have to marry. This is an absolutely absurd scenario but this is reality of our India. The first problem is that you do not get chance to interact with many women as you can marry only one woman legally. I don't want to marry 10 women but I certainly want to interact with hundreds of women. A marriage in which you are allowed to interact freely with your partner only after marriage is called "Arranged Marriage".
If you go around and ask people that do they like arranged marriage, majority answer will be positive. In my opinion this is "Absurd Marriage" as I have made my point above. Arranged marriage actually promotes lack of interaction. If there is free communication there will be no arrange marriage. This is just beginning I have lot of other stuff against this holy institution. I'll come up with that later. I'll first argue that how arranged marriage promotes lack of interaction between men and women. Any comments 'for or against' are welcome.

The twisted Indian morality

Now days a show called "Sach ka Saamna" is going on , on starplus. It is the Indian version of the US show "Moment of Truth". I had seen some episodes of this US show when Indian counterpart was not there. At that time I use to think that this show can never come to India, as India is a country of hypocrites and timid people, so no one will come to say the dark truths about his life. Moreover if it comes to India it will certainly be opposed and banned by our moral leaders.
I was pleasantly surprised to see the Indian show "Sach ka Saamna" and people revealing there secrets. I was very happy that there are courageous and truthful people in India. But I also felt very bad when my second doubt came true. Few days back in our parliament, some of our MPs(Member of Parliament) raised the issue of this show and demanded to ban it. They said the questions being asked in the show are against Indian morality. Congress party minister Ambika Soni immediately obliged the MPs by sending a notice to the TV channel. Thankfully the TV show is not banned but they display a warning message during the show, and now its timing have been changed from 10:30 pm to 11 pm in the night. But what are the questions which our MPs think are against our morality. The media reports did not elaborate on that but it is very easy to figure out that the question regarding physical relations and other sex related questions are the culprits.
Now my question is what is a bigger crime adultery or robbery. According to Indian mentality and our parliamentarians metality adultery is a bigger crime than robbery. Thats why I am calling it twisted morality. Now I will prove my point that our MPs are more worried about adultery than robbery. Now days there is a commercial of Bajaj bike going on, in which the hero with the bike easily robs a Bank and gets away in his bike. Now why our MPs did not bother about this TV commercial. This is trying to teach our youngsters that with this new bike you can easily do a robbery. Its simple, because they think that this is not as serious a crime as talking about sex or doing adultery. And if a women commits adultery then that is limit. There is no bigger crime than this, even murder is small in comparison to this. Every now and then we get news that a family killed its daughter because she ran away with some guy. Recently this type of news came from a village in Haryana. Then our MPs give lecture in the parliament that people should not take law into their own hands.
The conclusion is that there is no difference between the mentality of people who are killing their daughters and sisters for adultery and these MPs who are raising opposition to the TV show "Sach ka Saamna". And the most sad part about it is that there was no other MP to oppose this third class mentality. (atleast I did not see any media report about that.)

Income tax system of India

As usual, July 31st is the last date of filing the Income tax returns. Most of the working class people including me, are busy again to finish this yearly duty. Every time I do this exercise and I feel frustrated. Why do all these junk works like get proof of your investments, get different types of receipts etc. Every year we have to do this because it will save us crucial money in the form of tax exemption. The whole tax system is quite complex. On my own I have never been able to find out my tax liability(Although I am in good Mathematics, as I have done masters in Mechanical Engineering). Because there is this clause and there is that clause. Last year I paid some 500 rupees to some guy to file my income tax returns. This year I got someone who charged only 150.
The point I am trying to make is when things are complex then things become corrupt. I f we make things simple then there will very less possibility of corruption. It will save a huge amount of time, money and energy of all the people. First the government imposes a tax then they give some exemption. These exemptions are the root of all corruption. For salaried people there is not much scope in the sense that they can not abuse these exemptions for great benefits. But for business people there is unlimited scope. One can learn from Ramalinga Raju how things can be manipulated even in a big public company.
The income tax for salaried people can be simplified very easily. There should be no clause for any exemption. There should be some flat tax rates for different level of income like we have billing of electricity. This will not only make life easy of a tax payer but also of the employer and of the government also.
Even when we have an economist Prime Minister and honest too, we can not expect this happening in near future. After all this a congress government, who are the creators of all these corrupt systems and socialistic mentality.

Legacy of Nehru

Recently Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said that the only achievement of Advani in his political life, is the Babri masjid demolition. He is in election campaign so he is pointing out negatives of his opponent. Let us do the same thing with the Nehru, the first Prime minister of India. What is the achievement of Nehru. The humiliation of 1962 or tilting Indian policy towards communism or creator of dynastic politics in India.
Advani may not be fully responsible for Babri masjid demolition but Nehru is the only reason of 1962 defeat of India at the hands of China. He adopted a "No defense against China" policy. Because China was good friend of Him. He gave the Permanent seat at the UN security council to China. He did not allocate enough budget for preparing the army for any possible threat against China. Many world leaders at that time warned Nehru that China is planning attack on India. And when finally China attacked the whole world laughed at India. That is why it was not just a defeat at war for India but a humiliation.
Now the second achievement. What is wrong in having your policies tilted towards communism. The very simple answer is communism breeds dictatorship and corruption. We just need to see around the world and at communist states and it becomes quite obvious. See USSR, China, Cuba, Venezuela etc. As India was not absolute communist state , so there was no absolute dictatorship also. But there was Some amount of dictatorship during the times of Indira Gandhi. And corruption is there for everyone to see. This tilt has caused a huge loss to India in terms of foreign policy. Because of our "Non-Aligned Movement" most of the capitalistic world powers see India skeptically. We have lost the benefits of good relations with world powers.
The third achievement of Nehru the dynastic politics. It is being followed by the leaders in this country in almost all the states. We have leaders and then we have their wives, their sons their daughters. If you are not in the family then you have a very little scope of growing in politics.

With so many achievements in the name of Nehru, I think Advani is better than Nehru.

Job security

Everyone wants job security in the time of recession. This is economically very tough time and if someone looses his job then surely he will face lot of difficulties. I am not writing this to give you tips about how to save your job. Actually I think this there should not be this employer and employee system. So in a way I am proposing to scrap all the Jobs. So there will be no Job, so no question of any job security, in other words 100 percent job security.
I think that every job should be contract based. The highest paid or most powerful jobs around the world are contract based. You take any post of CEO or the Presidents or Prime Ministers of the Nations. Job and Job security are byproducts of communist mentality. Security is a myth.(see the articles about Job and Courage at Stevepavlina.com).
The basic problem with Job security is that it makes people inefficient. Now I don't have to prove this, you just see any of the Indian government or state government officials. Even in businesses where there is security the businessman becomes inefficient and less customer friendly. Just see the Petrol pumps of this country. I have read in many news articles that most of them sell adultereted fuel throughout the country.
Now you may argue that this is a very good proposal from the Employer's stand point because he need not pay the employee for the time he is not taking work from him. It will be great disadvantage for the employee.
Ok, So first let me tell you that I am doing a Job and I am not an Employer. And here I think with this proposal I am looking for my advantage. I feel that if jobs become contract based then they will be better paid. At present in the name of giving job security to all the employees the Employer gives a very low salary to all the employees, because he has to keep most of the earnings for security. So in a sense I feel it leads to exploitation. I think if jobs are contract based the job seeker will have more barganining power. Moreover every one will strive to become more efficient to be able to get further contracts in future. You see the people working as consultants. At present the transition of a person from a stable job to a consultant happens very late in his career. I think this should happen much earlier.